So then today it's here - the first really major hurdle for mam (and the rest of us, by proxy) to get past: her hysterectomy operation.
Spoke to her on Saturday evening and she sounded more tired than ever - I think for all of us, it'll be a relief to get past this 'hurdle' of her op so we all know what's needed to move forward.
She went to hospital on Sunday morning - the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Gateshead. My bro and his wife took her there - I think he'll be a very calming influence; being ex Army and having done time in Northern Ireland and with the UN, he's very 'no nonsense' and thinks before he speaks. I know she takes a lot of comfort from him being around, and that in turn makes me feel better for her.
She arrived at 10.40 on Sunday and was waiting for a couple of hours before she was admitted, apparently. All we knew was that the op will be sometime in the afternoon of Monday 30th November.
So Monday arrives. Work is frantic anyway, lots to do and it helps keep my mind occupied. Monday afternoon and my mind starts wandering. Still busy but still wondering how it's going. I keep thinking about my mate Paul's words - try not to worry, there's nothing you can do now.
Phoned the hospital early evening - 6.30pm ish - and they said she's only just arrived in the High Dependency Unit, if I phone back in 15 minutes or so then they'll be able to tell us more. I texted my brother and sister to tell them that snippet, and told that my brother will ring the hospital for more news. Feel a bit helpless, waiting for someone else to update me.
Eventually my sister in law calls - brother spoke to the hospital, mam's been settled into the high dependency unit and the ward sister says from mam's notes, there's "nothing to worry about". My sister works at Guys Hospital and says from her experience, that really DOES mean there's nothing to worry about...probably means the op went as expected, the surgeon found what he expected to. She reckons if they'd said "you'll have to wait to speak to the consultant", THEN there'd be grounds to be concerned.
But at least twice now, we've had our hopes raised, only to be kicked in the stomach later with bad news. So while I'm moderately cheered, I'll reserve judgement til I know more.